WHY CONSIDER GOING FOR COUNSELING?
by Leslie Karen Lobell, M.A.

Why might you consider going for counseling? There are many issues that may arise in your life that could motivate you to seek professional guidance. You may feel depressed following the death of a friend or relative, or when a romantic relationship has ended. You may just feel down or blue a lot of the time, whether or not you understand why. You may have recently moved and are feeling challenged in adjusting to a new home and way of life. You may feel anxious or suffer from panic attacks. You may have experienced some trauma (such as a car accident, rape, mugging, or another situation in which you felt helpless), either recently or in the past, from which you have not fully recovered emotionally. You may feel a great deal of anger and frustration, and desire to learn to cope with these feelings more constructively. Friends or relatives may be telling you they think you have a drug or alcohol problem. You may have difficulty communicating with family members, a spouse or significant other, coworkers, or friends. You may have a low sense of self-esteem: you are unhappy with your body, your appearance, your personality, or other aspects of yourself. You may feel uncertain about your career path; perhaps you know what you want to do, but feel afraid or uncertain about pursuing a certain career. You may be coping with one of life's many transitions: adolescence, marriage, menopause, retirement, etc. You may desire a life that feels more purposeful and meaningful. People turn to counseling for many reasons…
 
WHY NOT JUST TALK TO MY FRIENDS?
 
Friends are a wonderful source of joy and comfort. Sometimes, they can give you excellent advice. However, for tougher challenges or ongoing concerns, often it is preferable to seek professional help. First of all, friendships are give-and-take relationships. When you need someone really to take time to listen to and help you - and you may not have a lot of time and energy to give back to someone else - you may be concerned about "burdening" a friend. Even when your friends have sufficient time or a desire to help, they may lack the skills and expertise to assist you in working through your challenges. These are good times to turn to a professional. Perhaps most importantly, unlike most friends or family members, a professional counselor can give you unbiased opinions. Also, whereas friends and family members may want you to stay the same - they may feel threatened, fearing they could "lose" you if you change - a counselor is invested in assisting you to make positive changes.
 
SHOULDN'T I BE ABLE TO HANDLE THIS ON MY OWN?
 
Humans were not meant to solve all their own challenges and problems. That is why we have communities and civilizations: so we can work together and assist each other. In tribal communities, younger people would seek counsel from elders who had faced the same challenge. If they were sick, they would go to the Medicine Man, who had the knowledge to assist them. Wisdom was shared, and people did not feel isolated. Though Western Culture promotes a sense of "rugged individualism," there is no reason why people should not ask an expert, or someone more educated in a particular area, for advice. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness: it is a sign of courage. It takes great courage to admit that you need help, and even more courage to ask for it. Rather than a sign of weakness, I believe it is a sign of strength when someone wishes to improve his or her life, and has the courage to ask for guidance. Hiding from and trying to avoid or deny problems is a sign of fear. Facing the challenges of our lives and working through them, while receiving the assistance we need to do so, is not only smart, it is a sign of power.
 
Copyright ©2000 by Leslie Lobell
 

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