Ah, the "Simple
Joys": "Sweet summer evenings, sapphire skies / feasting your
belly… feasting your eyes." I recently experienced a more-or-less
perfect day: a day filled with simple joys, the pleasures of all the
senses. My partner and I went for brunch at a restaurant overlooking
a marina. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and the view was spectacular.
My French toast arrived with pieces of caramelized banana, slices of
mango, a tiny ceramic pot of maple syrup, and decorative mini parasols;
I admired the beautiful presentation - then savored every bite. Later
in the day, my partner and I went for a walk along the beach of our
aptly named "beautiful by nature" island home. As we walked,
I was listening to the sound of the waves and feeling the breeze on
my face. We stopped to sit and watch the sunset, sharing a beach chair.
I felt held and loved, as my partner sat behind me with his arms and
legs wrapped around me. As we began to walk back, and as the sky grew
darker, I watched the reflections of light on the clouds: the changing
colors of pink, red, and purple gave the impression that God, or some
heavenly artist, was painting the sky. Continuing our journey back toward
our car, we came upon a beachfront hotel, beautifully lit, with tables
on a deck overlooking the ocean. We stopped there and had a lovely dinner.
On the drive home, I was thinking about how grateful I felt to have
a loving partner, to live in a place of natural beauty, and to have
been blessed with this day. Nothing "big" happened -- yet
it was a really amazing day for me, because I've learned to appreciate
the little things that life has to offer.
Do you take time
to appreciate the simple joys in life? Do you smile at the sun or sing
in the rain? Do you feel the high of being on top of a mountain or feel
the warmth of the sand beneath your feet at the beach? Do you stop to
smell fruit on a tree or flowers on a bush? Do you take time to coo
at an infant, or to watch puppies or kittens at play? Do you savor the
foods you eat? Do you really listen to, and enjoy, the music you hear?
Are you thankful for the air you breathe and the life you have been
given? Most of all, do you ever take time to marvel in the mere-yet-profound
fact that, of all the infinite possibilities in the Universe, God/The
Creator (or whatever you wish to call the Ultimate Source) chose to
create you?
Many of us, especially
in Western Culture, fail to notice the little things that make life
so sweet. We get caught up in the pursuit of what the song terms, "wealth
and health, and name and fame, and all of that noise." In a culture
that promotes the idea that "bigger is better," it is so easy
to forget to take time to appreciate the simple joys, the little gifts
that life gives to us each and every day. Simple joys are around us
every moment: all we need to do is be aware of them. Dan Millman, author
of Way of the Peaceful Warrior, shared a great insight: "There
are no ordinary moments." No moment, nothing in life, should be
taken for granted. In developing gratitude for the simple joys, the
little things in life, we come to truly enjoy and appreciate life -
and then we are able to see the magic that surrounds us every moment.
It is not the circumstances
surrounding you, but your attitude, that is the key to freeing yourself
and allowing joy into your daily life. To illustrate this, let me use
the example of an Easter basket, to show how one's attitude may affect
one's experience… It was the first Easter Sunday of the millennium
-- also, my first Easter on Providenciales in the Turks & Caicos
Islands, and the first since I began my current relationship. After
my morning meditation, I came out to the kitchen. My partner had just
returned from having coffee with a friend. A basket had mysteriously
appeared on the kitchen counter; its contents included a Tobler Chocolate
Orange, Lindt Lindor Truffles, Ferrero Rochers, and a note to me from
the Easter Bunny. I was amazed. This was a very observant Easter Bunny!
These were the exact brands and flavors of all the chocolates I had
been eyeing, but not buying, over the past several months. I knew that
my partner had clued the Easter Bunny in on what to buy for me, but
I couldn't figure out how he knew, either, since I had not actually
purchased any chocolate since the beginning of our relationship. I was
touched by his awareness and his thoughtfulness; I felt really loved
and cared for.
Now let's see how
another individual might react to this gift. Suppose I could give this
experience to someone else: someone who had not cultivated an "attitude
of gratitude," someone non-appreciative of the simple joys. Suppose
this Easter basket arrived in the home of another woman -- one who was
caught up in the pursuit of the things that the "sorrowful lad"
in our song possessed: wealth, name, fame, and "all of that noise."
How might she react to receiving this basket? Would she feel a sense
of gratitude? No! She probably would feel horribly upset - maybe even
really pissed off! Instead of appreciating what did show up, she would
be focused on something she felt was missing. She would be wondering
what was wrong: Why had her partner failed to get her a new diamond
ring, a Cartier watch, a fur coat, or tickets for a cruise around the
world? She would look at her partner with disdain, feeling enraged that
he had the nerve to just buy her chocolates. She would get into a foul
mood that would probably prevent her from enjoying the rest of the day.
This woman would
completely miss the best part of it all... For the sweetest thing about
my Easter basket was not the chocolate inside (even given the fact that
my favorite brands were there). The sweetest part was the realization
it brought to me: that someone really paid attention over time, noticed
the little things that bring me pleasure, and cared enough to give me
something that would say, between the lines, "You are special to
me." That Easter basket probably said more to me than a diamond
ring or a Cartier watch would say to the woman in this example. Not
that I, personally, would begrudge a more "glamorous" gift:
learning to appreciate the little things certainly does not prevent
you from appreciating the "big things," as well. However,
I think it would feel empty, to me, if I received something glamorous
from someone who donned me with large gifts on special occasions, but
expressed little or no caring, on a day-to-day basis, the rest of the
year.
As I said before,
attitude is the key. Coming to feel a sense of gratitude for the simple
joys of life will affect you, in a positive way, on a daily basis. Remember
the words of wisdom from Dan Millman: "There are no ordinary moments."
If you learn to notice and appreciate the "little things,"
every moment can begin to feel extraordinary and magical. If you cultivate
an attitude of gratitude, you will start to experience so much more
joy in your everyday life. If you are in a relationship, you will have
a much greater chance of feeling fulfilled: you are more likely to create
intimacy by paying attention to the little things that please your partner,
and you are more likely to notice and appreciate the little things your
partner does to please you. In life in general, you will begin to feel
more free, more happy, and more at peace. As the song says, without
simple joys, life can seem "purposeless and flat." Aren't
you glad that you don't need to feel like that?
Copyright ©2000-2001. All rights reserved. Leslie Lobell
