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Art of Loving Advice
Name: Trish
Question: My husband isn’t very romantic. Being a working mom with two kids I feel like I want to be swept off my feet. What can I do to convey this to him?
Dear Trish,
This is one of the most common problems today in long-term relationships. Loving relationships go through hills and valleys, and require continual work and maintenance. We all get distracted based on the stress of working and raising children. We forget about ourselves and our partners. Your question indicates to me that you love yourself by wanting some romance with your husband.
Just as we set an example for our children, sometimes we need to set an example for our spouse, as well. Start setting the stage for romance for you and your husband.
For Example:
Plan some quality time together alone. Have date nights or go for weekend get-aways. Send the kids off to a relative or friend and have a romantic dinner by candlelight. How about playing hooky from work on a afternoon and getting a day room in a nice hotel? Call him from a lingerie shop; ask him what he might like you to buy, giving him some description of what you are looking at to set his imagination on fire. Send him flowers at the office, send him a sexy e-mail card, leave love notes in a lunch bag or briefcase, create shaving cream messages on the bathroom mirror. Use your imagination... Create the mood to start stimulating the romance back in your relationship. Unless he is brain dead he should get the hint and start responding back with the romance you seek. For more ideas, go to my web site; many of my articles address these types of issues.
Hopefully your example will kick start hubby into recognizing how important romance is to you in your loving relationship. Should this subtle approach not work, then you need to have some honest communication with your husband and tell him how you feel. In your conversation, be careful not to sound as if you are blaming the problem on him; that will only put him on the defensive. Rather, introduce the issue of the lack of romance as something you would like the two of you to work on as a couple. No matter how long you have been together, your husband is not a mind reader and may be unaware of how you are feeling. It takes two to tango: that is why I said earlier for you to be proactive and set the romantic stage. If communication does not work, then you may wish to seek some professional help, as a couple, to find out why the romance has left your relationship.
Drop me a line and let me know how you make out.
Wishing you an epic and loving day from Providenciales.
Paul
P.S. Should push come to shove, send him to me for an Art of Loving Workshop for some re-training.
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