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Art of Loving Advice
Name: Judy T.
Question: I recently began traveling a great deal for business. The guys I travel with are married and I feel secure in my relationship with my husband but there seems to be an attraction brewing between myself and a co-worker. When I'm back home , the co-worker is out of my mind and things go back to normal but once I'm on the road again and our paths cross, I can feel the tension. What's going on? I 'd like to feel the same butterflies in my stomach over my husband rather than my co-worker. How do I get that back?
Dear Judy,
It sounds like that there is alot of flirtation going on between you and your co-worker during your road trips. There is nothing wrong with flirting as long as it doesn't get out of hand. What you are describing sounds like it is getting out of hand. You are both married. This is a dangerous game if it goes to the affair stage. I have to question the state of your co-worker's relationship with his wife. If your co-worker has problems in his marriage, then he is potentially looking for more than just flirting from you, which, based on your note, is not what you want. In my opinion, end this flirtation with your co-worker now! I know on business trips that co-workers dine together and spend free time together, which is fine as long as certain boundaries are not crossed. Remove yourself from temptation, Judy, and utilize free time during business trips doing things for yourself. Love starts by loving yourself. Take the time for soaking in a bubble bath, curling up with a good book, seeing a movie that your family might not like, and just enjoying your free time.
Rising love with one's partner goes through stages in a lifetime. What you are experiencing with your husband is normal: long-term relationships typically begin with what I call "the euphoric stage" (full of passion, excitement, and hot, steamy sex), and then move on to a more mature stage in which partners need to work to keep the passion and excitement alive. It sounds to me like you and your husband need more quality time together to rekindle the romance and passion in your relationship. I would start redirecting the "butterflies" towards your husband. Plan some nights and weekends together and create the perfect romantic setting. Start by going back to your memories of those times when the romance and excitement was there. Communicate with your husband about your feelings and desires without giving him the impression that it is his fault. Use that feminine charm... you know what I am talking about... with your husband. I cannot stress enough that couples need time away from family, especially children, in order to keep the passion and commitment in a rising loving relationship. My website http://www.artofloving.com/ includes numerous articles on sexual intimacy, the art of touching, using your imagination in love, infatuation versus mature love, secrets to loving everyday, and more. There are many books, resources, and professional therapists and counselors that will provide you with the knowledge you seek to bring back the "butterflies" you want to feel towards your husband.
I hope you find my thoughts to be of help to you. Wishing you and your husband an epic and fulfilling lifetime together in rising love.
Paul Mauchline
P.S. You may consider a vacation together in "beautiful by nature" Providenciales, Turks & Caicos my home and where I conduct my Art of Loving workshop series :) :)
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