Art of Loving Advice
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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- Question:
Please don't use my name or e-mail address. I am 27 yo female lovingly
married to a great guy. He is the first and only guy I have ever had sex
with. Problem-I have never had an orgasm with him. I can masturbate myself
or with him as part of our lovemaking (he says he is turned on by watching
me) and get an orgasm. He has tried touching, kissing and intercourse but
nothing works. I fell good and excited when we are together, I just can't
seem to get there. (He doesn't ejaculate too quickly either.)He of course
doesn't know this. When I realize that "it" isn't going to happen I fake it.
We have been married 3 years. I know I should tell him but I don't want him
to feel bad about it. I'd like to know if there is anything I can do to have
an orgasm with him. And yes, our relationship is great so I don't see a need
there.
Advice
- Question:
My name is Frankie and I have been dating the love of my life for more than
1.5 years, and we are getting married in another 1.5 years. We enjoy each
other's company very much, and we spend a lot of time with each other. We
both come from different backgrounds. She comes from a lower class
background, she's not really close with her family, and she doesn't have a
lot of friends. She also didn't have a lot to look forward to when she was
younger. All her friends are married with kids. I have a very close
family, and quite a few friends. Occasionally when I want to just stay home
for the night and relax, or just hang out with the guys she gets mad and
upset with me. She thinks I hate her or I just don't want to see her that
night. I also find myself hiding things from her because I am afraid of how
she will react if I tell her about it. I think she has a trust issue with
me. I trust her, but she doesn't trust me. I am 100% loyal to her, and I
have expressed that every minute of every day. I know her previous
relationship was surrounded by lies and mistrust, and I feel this has a lot
to do with how she is. My family is concerned that our marriage will have
problems if she can't understand the fact that I need my space and time away
from her every once in a while to relax or spend time with friends or
family. I include her in everything just about (family functions), and my
family loves her to death. My parents feel that she has a leash around my
neck, and won't let me do anything without getting in an argument about
wanting to stay home for the evening. I blame this on the fact that she
seems a bit possessive of me because I am her only friend on top of being
her fiancé! Any suggestions on how I can talk to her and get her to
understand me and trust me. I realize that I don't need to spend every
spare minute I have with her because I have other people in my life that are
just as important, but se doesn't understand that.
Advice
- Question:
Hi, I am losing the love of my life and I don't know what to do.
Background info: This is my first same sex (female-female) relationship and
we have been together and lived together for almost 4 years. I have two
sons and she has loved them as if they were her own and they love her
dearly. The four years have been hard because we have (mainly me) battled
with trying to please people and keep up appearances. I have taken them up
and down so many emotional rollercoasters. One minute I wanted to be with
them, then I would pull back. I never pulled back because I didn't love
them, but I just didn't know how to love them like I should have. Well,
then something happened to push all of my feelings to the surface and I
realized just how much I did love them and that I didn't want to lose them.
I told them that I am ready to give my heart to them completely, but they
are too afraid to trust me. They have developed a close friendship with a
co-worker and this has made me very uncomfortable. I have accused them of
wanting to be with this person, but they have told me nothing is going on.
I am so afraid of losing her to this other person because they are so close
now. I made things worse by being overly jealous and fussing all the time.
The past couple of months have been extremely hard. And they have already
started putting up their defenses. Now, they have moved out of the house
because they need some time and space. This decision has broken my heart.
I don't know how to let go and hold on to them at the same time. They tell
me that they still love me, but that they are scared to love me again. I
love them more than I ever realized I could love a person. I don't want to
give up on or lose that. Loving them has been my life's joy. If I was to
die tomorrow, I will be happy knowing that I loved someone with all my heart
and that they truly love me too.
I need your help. I don't know what to do without putting pressure on them
or further alienating them from me.
Please help!!
Advice
- Question:
Right now I'm a little confused in things that are going on with this girl that I met. Ok it all started when I picked her up as a favor of a friend of mine. We talked, we laughed, her smile was breathtaking. Well I asked her for her phone and she gave it to me on a wednesday and I called her on Saturday she told me she was waiting for my call on Friday.To me that was a great sign cause later her friend told me that she was happy and would talk about me 24/7. We started dating went out in a couple of places like Movies, Mini Golf, Go cars all that cool fun stuff. Everything was going great she'll talk about me to her friends, and at her work.Then like in the 2 week I decided to take her to eat at a restaurant and gave her 2 roses, of course I did not wan't to rush thing up. The reason I did it was because I wanted to let her know that I liked her and was interested in her. After that everything went crazy. I wanted to talk to her so I got my chance yesterday I was at her friends apartment and they were doing a cookout and they invited me to eat she of course was acting strange she would not talk to me that much and I knew she wasn't herself later I decided to leave cause I thought I interupted a girl's night. I went out to my apartment and I guess her friends got mad at her cause how she was not talking to me. So when I came back to gave a one of my friends a CD she was leaving and I kind of thought it was my fault all along that I interupted her girl's night so I felt bad and followed her and that's when we talked. She was telling me that she left because of other things and it wasn't because I interupted the girl's night out. Then I talked about the rose that I gave her and told her what I meant by it. I forgot that roses have a meaning for every color, I told her that I was a guy and we do stupid stuff like that and I apologize but now I've learned from my mistake. Then we talked some more and then she told me that there's thing that I don't know about her and I said that I was a good listener and that I let her know that I'll always have some time for her to hear her, even if it's at 2am and she want's me to go to her apartment I will come. Anytime that she needs me I'll be there. And I told her that I wanted to see a smile out of her face that special smile that I've known. She smiled and we kept on talking. Then she told me the that she had someone in her life and that kind of squashed my soul I thought I was dead I couldn't believe what I heard. After that I kind of left her alone and left. Then I started thinking all night of all the things we did togheter. And why this and why that. Like if she had someone why she gave me her phone number,why was she waiting for my call desperetly,why would she talk about me 24/7 when she had someone,why did she bought herself a watch that I chose for her,why? This things I tought all night it was driving me crazy why? you may ask cause I started feeling something that I've never felt me whole life, I felt I was alive,she made me be a better man, just be hearing her voice on the phone made all my problems go away. That's how special she is to me. And I know that she felt the same way too just by seeing her smile. When I see her smile I see everything that I meant to her. That night when we talked I saw in her face that she was confused and I was sad too because I don't want to see her sad. Well I guess that the phrase You can never have what you want it's true. Right now I just don't know what to do she told me that we can still be friends and then her friends tells me not to give up try to conquer her hearth. At this point I dont' know what to. Any advice would really help. Thanks
Advice
- Question:
I'm a single male (never married, no children, age 41) who started dating a
woman (never married) who has two children (ages 5 & 10). I'm interested in
information on the problems, solutions, etc., that are related to such a
relationship. I have NO IDEA of what I am in for should I marry a woman with
kids. (Note: She has a crazy "ex" whom she has a protective restraining order
against.) Thanks.
Advice
- Question:
I really need some advice in a situation that has
evolved over a number of years. I have been married
for 2 and a half years to a beautiful intelligent
woman whom I love dearly. We have been together for
nearly eight years and I have at no time been
unfaithful. My wife is also the only person I have
ever made love to.
The problem begins with her younger sister. We get
along very well and other people have commented on a
noticeable amount of chemistry between us. I really
enjoy her company and find myself physically attracted
to her when we are together. Certain comments made by
my wife and her mother in the past have indicated that
the sister (Lets call her Jane) has also had some
amount of attraction to me.
Over the years I have tried to dismiss my feelings as
a simple crush that would pass with time. The
feelings haven't passed and if anything have grown
stronger over the passed few months. Soon we may find
ourselves working for the same company and therefore
spending much more time together.
I ache to spend time with her but I know this will
only make matters worse. I feel a great need to tell
Jane how I feel about her if only so she can know. I
fear this will change things forever. My wife is
completely committed to me and she is perfect in every
way. No one could wish for more in a wife. This only
serves to increase the resentful feelings I have
towards myself for allowing this situation to arise.
Can a man truly love two women?
Am I a complete and utter ass hole for allowing this
to occur?
Am I destined to carry these feelings inside me
without anyone knowing for the rest of my life?
I am struggling to go on like this. I feel myself
becoming more and more depressed.
Can you please help?
Advice
- Question:
I'm 27yrs old, I recently met this girl whom I fell in love with and she opened up some feelings inside
of me that I never knew existed, all I could think of was her, I became very caring towards her and
wanted what's best for her, however she did not feel the same way about me,
through my sadness
I found out somethings about my past that I had buried for a long time.
When I was 6 years old I was
sexually abused and I guess raped by a 15 year old neighbour repeatedly, I was also beaten badly by my
father as a kid I'm not sure if I deserved it or not but I know that it's wrong to hit someone like that.
When I was 12 my friend committed suicide and since then I believed that it was OK to commit
suicide I've have had one suicide attempt since.
I'm seeing a counsellor now who's helping me, she's helping me to learn to love myself after
17 years of denial and hate for myself. Sadly though I still feel a little hate for the world because
all I ever wanted was to be loved and treated with affection (physically as well), but never got it,
not even from this girl I met, she by the way wants to be my friend 'cause she cares about me
but nothing more I sometimes feel I've been given a very heavy cross to carry I know I'll get
through this but right know it's seems like all doom and gloom.
Advice
- Question:
Hello, this is my first time on a web site like this, and I am not sure whether this is where I am supposed to be sending my message to or not, so forgive me if its the wrong address. I am not sure if you can help me with my question, but I need to
know if I am acting badly or not.
Ok, so I am a 19 year old female, and I have been with this guy named P (18 years old) for about 2 and half years, we are very committed to each other. The problem is that his friends seem to be attached to him, I have always felt like this, but just lately I
have been getting mad over them always being there. It seems every once and awhile P gets this new friend and they are best friends. I just started to go to P's school in Feb. to get 2 more credits, so I really don't know allot of people there, so being with
his friends is not a problem at school, it is the fact that every day at lunch his younger brother, and his two friends pop in his car and assume that it is ok, so I get dropped off at home allot because I don't want to be with his friends all the time, his brother is
fine with me being there it is just his friends and no i really don't like his friends at all, I would never choose to hang with then outside of school with out P, but I am nice to them....now I give my boyfriend gas money, none of his friends help with the gas
situation, and I feel that I get the cold shoulder from his friends because I am there at school now. Sometimes his friends make me feel really unwanted and they ask p to do things all the time and sometimes I know they would rather be with just P, and they are alot when I am at work, but I feel that they are not to happy that I am there. I will say that no I do not want to share him all the time, but it is the fact that they think they are always invited to where P goes, or where we go. It is not like P is with me and my friends (which is doesn't like alot of them) all the time, he never hangs with my friends, so how is it fair that I always have to be with his friends? I would like to have a nice lunch with just us two once in a while, but when I talk to P about it, he says nothing, that what is he supposed to do, it is his brother, and his friends he cant just say no you can't come. I don't think P cares that I get upset about this. My question is do I really have a right to be upset, or am I acting like an obsessive girlfriend?..and how do I get P to understand this?
thanks for you advice-T
Advice
- Question:
I am a woman and about 2 years ago I met a couple and became good friends with both the man and the woman. I stayed in their house and they helped me in many ways. Eventually we all had sex, her and I, he and I, all three of us at once.
The trouble is that their relationship was not in good standing before or during this entire time. (About 1 year) They had problems and were not happily married. So the man moved out of the house and I have since continued to see him. I love his company as a friend and lover, but every time we make love, I end up feeling guilty. Like I am the reason that they broke up. The wife and the husband have both acknowledged that there were problems before they met me and both of them have expressed that they DO NOT hold me responsible for their breakup.
Are my feelings of guilt justified?
Signed Girl.......Guilty
Advice
- Question:
My wife and I had great sex when we were dating. Shortly after we got
engaged she seemed to gradually lose interest however. I don't think she
handles stress well, and it seemed there's always something every day that'd
keep her out of "the mood." I was lucky if we had sex once or twice a month.
We have a two year old that of course stresses her out all day and leaves
very much not in the mood at night. Except for a few vacations and when we
were trying to get pregnant it seemed we never had sex more than once a week,
if even that often. I think I have become resentful of her. Even when she
is in the mood I am now having "performance problems" which I think are
partly bacause of my pent up anger with her. This has now become a vicious
cycle and I don't know what to do. The really pathetic part was that we have
not had sex since Valentine's Day and guess what? She got pregnant that day!
We were using the "rhthym method" since, after all, we didn't have sex very
often. Obviously this wasn't a "safe day" as she thought. I can't believe
we had sex just a few times this year and now we're having a second child -
which will at least double her stress level with two kids to care for. This
has made me more resentful of her. I do all I can to help her at home but it
never seems to be enough. Any advice?
Advice
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